🎬 Title : ✓✓TᕼOᖇ ᒪOᐯE & TᕼᑌᑎᗪEᖇ (2022)

🔊 Language : Hindi

💿 Quality : 480p, 720p HD  

🖥 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲  / 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 🚀

Honi Goldman: How To Write An Obituary And Say Goodbye To My Mother.

Writing an obituary can be a problematic task that was recently made evident when I was recounting the life of my mother as a public record. My daughter wanted more of a memorial of the woman whom she remembered.

Aside from the “who, what, where and why,” (which was drummed into me by the late famed Courier Journal Copy Editor, Herman Landau), today’s standard for a notice of a death has become flexible.

Obituaries are indeed history, and like all historical accounts, the version of a person’s life depends on who is doing the writing.

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As often said, each of us is viewed in many different versions, depending on the other person’s perspective. A child, a sibling, a parent, a grandparent, an employer, a friend. Each interaction has specific memories that are unique to that relative, that employer, or that friend.

I remember a mother who enjoyed quiet summer evenings on the back steps with her teenage daughter during those turbulent teenage years. It was an unspoken time of a parent saying to a child “No matter what you do, I will always love you and be there for you.” And I can still see a woman gleefully setting bridge tables for an evening with her friends, using her good china and cut-glass bowls filled with olive cream cheese spread in celery sticks. Her wonderful homemade macaroni and cheese for Friday night family dinners came with a horrible frozen fish dish. And how she laughed at her “goofs”. Even my name is a goof. (She “Southernized” a Hebrew word.)

My daughter remembers a woman who loved her family immensely – any drawing given to “Grandma Mirky” was a work of art proudly displayed near school pictures and vacation memories. My daughter recalls how her kitchen table was where you would get a made-to-order meal and even some unsolicited advice, both served with a heaping helping of love. Her grandma’s signature beaming smile in every photograph showed her pride for her family, friends and time spent together. And how she loved to send birthday and holiday cards, was an avid reader, took many vacations and cruises over the years, and never, ever missed a hair or nail appointment.

Story continues

My mother, like all the women in her family, like all the women of that era, was a true southern magnolia — whatever life threw at her; her motto was “We will deal with it” with all her grace and determination. The birth of her son without an organ who was raised as any regular child. The death of the “love of her life” soon after their 10th wedding anniversary. She cried in private, maybe with close friends — as not to upset anyone.

She instilled in her children a love of learning and provided a safe environment to always ask “Why?” There was never any scolding or harsh words, and never, absolutely never, told her children to “do better” or “improve your attitude.”

She along with her siblings were proponents of early childhood development. Each child was unique in their own right, children were to always have fun and always be respected for who they are, have the support and encouragement for their own aspirations, and never be molded into societal visions or parental goals.

While memories like these are important to a family, others might find them quaint, but to what purpose?

Obituaries are not just accolades of accomplishments, but a time capsule, a glimpse of how our civilization was.

My mother was the last of her siblings, the last of the first three women in her cul de sac (a Southern Baptist, a Catholic and a Jew) and the last original owner in the subdivision who was still living in her house. These women all lived through the Great Depression, The Flood of 1937, World War II, Viet Nam, and the loss of their husbands.

My mother, as her mother did, led by example of unconditional love, a respect for all people, to raise an eyebrow and scorn over hypocrisy of any kind, and always to support the rights of others.

And for me that is the most important aspect anyone needs to know about her.

As she often said during these last few years, “I have had a wonderful life.” And that is indeed something how we all should be remembered by.

Louisville native Honi Marleen Goldman is a community activist who writes about Jewish holidays, social issues and cooking.

Louisville native Honi Marleen Goldman is a community activist and organizer, who has spearheaded numerous grassroots movements on women's rights and often writes editorials on social issues.

Miriam H. Goldstein Goldman Godhelff died on Monday, November 21, 2022 at the age of 99. Her obituary can be found in the Courier Journal listings.

This article originally appeared on Louisville Courier Journal: Honi Goldman: How to write an obituary and say goodbye to my mother.

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